Last night we ended up going to sleep ridiculously early. Ridiculous. Like, 7 pm , ridiculous.
On the bright side, during one of the many, many sleep-addled visits to the loo that peppered the next 11 hours, I had a moment of clarity.
If we were all going to be getting such a good nights sleep , there was no reason on Earth why we all couldn't get our lazy butts up and out of bed the next morning for church.
Let me fill you in about " Church".
I am personally coming off a six year run of one horrid clergy-person after another. It started with a Non-denominational one who had , shall we say " drank the Kool-aide, and was a little too "fresh" . Then there was the Rabbi, by the time he had finished with me I had morphed into a neurotic, emotionally insecure mess it would take years to recover from . Then there was another 'Christian ' congregation who had already said some very hurtful and unnecessary things to us that made us question whether or not we belonged there long before we realized they were sponsered by Chic-Fil-A and realized we needed to high-tail it the heck out of there. The Piece d' Resistance though, came when hubby's priest of 20 plus years turned our "pre-marital counseling" into a witch hunt and F.U.B.A.R'd our wedding, or at least our being able to have it in the church.
In the last 18 months, we have only set foot in a church service three times, and all three were for recital's / plays, or other performances that munchkin was doing at her parochial school in " The City".
We have not gone to church for the sake of spirituality in 18 months.
This was a BIG step.
Once I had managed to rouse everyone the morning went something like this.
Hubby: i'm going to need a clean shirt for this hon.
Munckin: what am I suppossed to wear to this thing ?
Quiser : I'll grab you a shirt , little bit, your just gonna have to dress yourself.
M: aww, mom. . .
H: thanks hon !
After procuring the shirt I set to work trying to find something clean for me to wear, which was rather difficult as I am the last one to get clean laundry , and the last one to get put away laundry etc in this house, so my wardrobe was spread out between the obvious places, like my drawers and my closet, and the not so obvious places , like clothes baskets in the living room, and the dryer. I had just found a workable blouse, when . . .
M: ( wearing a dress that's way too tight) Mom, i can't get this zipped will you help meeeeeeeee ! ( the last part is screeched)
Q: honey, you outgrew it your going to have to pick out something else.
As she runs off in a huff to her bedroom i continue searching for pants that don't look like I mowed the lawn in them.
She re-enters in last years Christmas dress , with sleeves that are still 4 inches too long.
M: these sleeves are too long. we must cut them.
Q: we could hem them, but my sewing machine isn't unpacked yet. we absoloutly will NOT cut them.
M; but Mom !
Q: But NO.Finish getting dressed.
M : I am dressed.
Q: you have shoes on then ?
M: ( Looks at bare feet) no. I think i'm gonna just wear my flip flops.
( I had to almost physically resatrain myself to keep from hitting the roof over this . Flip-flops in church ! My mother would have had a heart attack on the spot if I had tried such a thing when I was her age. I had to keep telling myself , " It's a molehill Quiser, it's a molehill" )
Q: Well , okay :-) (forced smile ) just make sure you wash your face , brush your teeth and comb your hair.
M: alright Mom ! :-)
Five minutes later Hubby and Munchkin are dressed and waiting on me in the living room. I am still running around in my knickers ( at least i found some ) and trying to find some pants.
15 minutes later , I finally find some pants . They aren't the ones I wanted, but they will work. Feeling slightly victorious I emerge from the bedroom to the sound of discord in my home. I settle the (thankfully minor ) dispute , and give everyone their marching orders.
we begin driving like crazy people to the Mayberry McDonald's . ( wasn't about to chance Carl's Jr again after yesterday's gravy episode)
he bad side of this is that the Mayberry Mickey D's is notorious for magerking your order. So Munchkin ended up with an adult sized caffinated beverage ( a known recipe for disaster) and they forgot her breakfast all together, which meant she got half of mine, so I was hungry , which makes me cranky . However it bears mentioning her cranky hungry is a LOT worse and far more unbearable than mine .
After dealing with the dingbats at the McD's , I was a little agitated.
The agitation was stirred by cries of " mom they gave me a big drink " " this is hot " " this isn't what I ordered" from the back seat , answered by the hubby from the front trying his best in his own way to smooth things over because he knows trying to get across the main drag in heavy traffic makes me nervous. it is lost on both of them that the constant bickering has a negative effect on my concentration.
we manage to get out onto the main drag, but not before nearly getting our bumper torn off by an asshat in a pick-up truck, and then getting tail-gated for the next mile by some yuppy in a caddy.
The next three turns I made were all wrong ones. After the third wrong turn I started thinking / praying aloud.
" Sweet Baby Jesus ,I could understand if I was going to the whorehouse, or the bar , or the strip club , or the drug dealers house you making it so hard, but church ? Church is only 2 stinking miles from our house ! I am a pretty decent God-fearin' woman , I shouldn't have to fight the blasted one-woman-battle-of -bull-run to try and get my family a little Jesus ! Seriously ! Mercy ! Please ! "
At this point , we had finally arrived in the church parking lot, and all was blessedly silent.
"alright everybody. can we just finish our food in peace and go inside ?"
After breakfast had been devuored, we managed to get inside with only a minor argument between me and hubby over which entrance to use.
We enjoyed a lovely service, lovely fellowship, and the Eucharist , for the first time in 18 months.
They had childcare. Munchkin was beside herself with joy. So much so that she didn't want to go home.
for a few minutes, we were again a blissfully happy little family :-)
We bribed her away with promises of " pick out food " (otherwise known as the local Chineese buffet)
the two of them then began arguing over which one to go to.
This is the point where I threw in the towel, slammed both hands on the steering wheel and screamed out ,
" I should've just gone to the damn whorehouse ! "
Sunday, June 30, 2013
The road to Hell / Good intentions.
OK, so, as I may have mentioned previously , I have a 5 year old. My Husband is 65. I am 32.
Our household pretty well represents every season of life. In some ways that is a blessing, and most days it is. but then there are those other days . . .
Last week , munchkin attended "Princess Dance Camp" the recital for which was to be held at 10:00am Saturday Morning ( Yesterday). I truly bless the teacher , because it was held that early for the sole purpose of accomodating our insane schedule. Speaking of insane schedules, here's a peek at how yesterday was suppossed to go;
8:00 am - out of bed .
9:00 am - crap together and breakfast eaten, ready to get on the road.
10:00 am- Dance camp recital
11:00 am - leave "Mayberry" and drive to "The City" for a friends daughters pool party that you swore on everything so hard you might as well have taken a blood oath not to miss it for anything except death.
11:45am- Drop hubby who has zero tolerance for the heat of Okie summers at his favorite bookshop to kill time until the party etc ends.
12:00-3:00 pm -Pool Party with 5 year old and friends.
3:30 pm- collect husband from bookshop and load his purchases into vehicle, hope theres still room for munchkin to sit.
4:00 pm - stop by Buffy's Shop and collcet the keys to your shed she accidentally absconded with the last time she was over. Change munchkin, change yourself , attempt to do something to your hair that the heat and humidity hasn't already.
5-6:30 pm - leisurely dinner at some random location that you didn't have to cook.
7:00 pm- Arrive at Civic Center Music Hall and attempt to procure parking close enough that your spouse dosen't have a stroke trying to get into the building and your offspring dosen't have the opportunity to run amok or into traffic between your parking spot and the front door.
8:00 pm- Curtain for "Disney's Tarzan : The Musical"
10-10:30 pm- leave theatre and head home with your happy family in tow.
11-11:30 pm - arrive home , tuck everyone in, let critters out for a bit. Load the dishwasher, blog, critters in, bed.
It's a nice story, isn't it ? Everything working out the way you planned ? Now for what really happened . . .
Overslept.
Somehow managed to pack all the necessary clothing and sunscreen etc for the many events of the day , dance bag and so on ,my own change of clothes for later.
Got my goat rodeo into the car with the dogs only managing ONE escape out the front door ( believe it or not this IS actually less than usual)
Decided to make up for the time we overslept by grabbing a quick breakfast at the local Carl's Jr, only to end up waiting forever for what was hands down the most disgusting biscuits and gravy any of us have ever tried to stomach ( we have eaten there before, and it was good then, so I guess they were having an off day. But it was seriously gross) so now we are still hungry, but out of time .
The goat rodeo is still hungry and therefore cranky, particulairly with each other which in turn makes me cranky too. so far so good.
Still Running late, we arrive at the studio to find that thanks to the pioneering efforts of one Mothers overkill ( apparently in her family a 45 minute program merits the attendance of five generations of family , grandparents etc) there was ZERO large vehicle hubby-accessable parking . So I had to drop hubby at the nearest semi-accessable place and hope he made it in ok while munchkin and I foraged for parking elsewhere.
We ended up parking at the camera shop down the street and walking.
Did i mention that by this point , we were already on munchkins 4th hissy fit of the day ?
yeah.
So this was more of a march to the studio , where in my giant lard-ass was heaving after her wheezing out things like ,
"if you don't slow down , so help me God I will bust your ass ! "
"I mean it little girl !"
"Stop Running dammit ! We're not THAT late ! "
Finally, she stops. She turns around and gives me a look that could kill satan himself. She puts her hand on her hip , cocks her head "WHAT ?" ( words cannot describe how badly i wanted to knock her out at that moment, but i managed to keep my hands to myself)
Q: I am your mother, you are 5. I make the rules, you follow them. You step out of line, you get punished. Period. That's how it works. We do NOT have to take you to do things like dance, and parties, and theatre, THOSE ARE PRIVLIDGES ! and if you don't watch your mouth and straighten up , you will lose them.
M: (rolling her eyes sarcastically) you'd have to catch me first.
Here is where she takes off like greased lightening and hot foots it into the studio.
To save time , I will just say that she does everything her teacher asks her too, no problem. But everything from changing her clothes on is a three mile uphill battle for me.
As we are making the trek back to our parking spot in outer Mongolia , she continues to show her royal ass. By the time we arrive at the van , we are all yelling at each other and I am ready to scream / cry. It's only 11 am , for God's sake ! The day isn't even halfway over yet. I want to go home and hide in my closet and cry.
And then I see it. On the window of my van. Right there on my window. A note , scrawled with permenant marker, " THIS IS NOT A PARKING PLACE" Great. Good for you bucky. Thanks for the tip, cause this is exactly where i wanted to park in the first place. I wanted to make a sign on the back of it and tape it to his door that said " YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER" , sucks for him too, because I am a picture and Photo JUNKY !
Goat rodeo in the van, willing myself to save my energy and NOT be perturbed at camera shop asshat anymore, munchkin is furiously kicking the hell out of the back of my seat and screaming while hubby is trying to calm her down and i am trying to get BOTH of their attention and call this blasted van to order.
"QUIET ! " I yell. Attention garnered .
Q : All right ( munckins first, middle, and last name , so she KNOWS she's in trouble ) the day isn't even halfway over and we are here at this point already. Now I know you want to go to this pool party, and you know what, I WANT you to go to this pool party because I promised her Momma. But if this is how your gonna act, and you gonna be all ugly and stuff , i'm not gonna take you. I have no problem driving up ther , dropping off this gift, and just telling her momma that you weren't behaving well enough to deserve a trip to the pool. do you understand me ?
M: Yes Mama.
The trip to the city involved a whole lot of singing aloud to the Dixie Chicks ( Munchkin caught a liking for them from me and is currently driving them into the ground. Better than Bieber etc ) and everyone was in pretty good spirits by the time we reached the bookshop. When we dropped Hubby off , Munchkin even crawled up from the back seat to give him a hug and a kiss ! ( now there's my sweet girl ! ) We hit the Mickey D's for a dollar burger and then off ! too the pool !
Munchkin was amazed at the pool, it was more of a mini- water-park . ( the mayberry pool is very basic and spartan ) Having never been to a water-park or anything of the kind, this was amazing to her and she became like, spastically excited.
Things went pretty smoothly and we both had a great time, at least until the first time I tried to get her to leave . She turned around and marched defiantly into the pool , knowing I was fully dressed and couldn't go into the water per the pool rules.
30 minutes later, i tried to get her to at least come get another coat of sunscreen , she then tried to doggie-paddle herself into the deep end to escape before she even heard what I wanted. Once she understood what I wanted she got out , got sprayed, and then ran back in. 30 minutes later, it really was time to go. I gave her 5 minutes , and started the countdown. 3 minutes, 2 , "Ok honey , tell everybody bye-bye, we have to go now" She got out of the pool. Yea ! Victory for Mommy ! Then she jumped back in. this happened four more times. Once she finally got out for good , there was the search for her shoes, that took forever. She tried to get back in the pool three times during "the search", finally I had her rounded up and said my goodbyes to Birthday girls Mommy.
The ride from the pool to the bookshop seemed eternal. The noise from the backseat was deafening. I couldn't hear myself think. About 2 miles from the bookshop I decided there was no way I was taking this urchin inside ANY place of business. So I called the Bookshop, and ask them to please page my husband and have him meet me out front. Hubby emerged , confused, but compliant a few moments after I pulled up at the curb. He knew with a look that the rest of the day was shot and we were going home to Mayberry.
After we arrived, we ate a quick dinner of "Cowboy food " ( Kraft Mac-N-Cheese, Bushes baked beans, chili ,cut up hot-dogs , and onions) with a side of fried spam and chips and dip, which used up pretty much all of the leftovers. and by 6:30 pm we were all exhausted. By 7, we were in bed and asleep.
That's why I am just now managing to write this.
I would like to apologize to the folks at Lyric Theatre Of Oklahoma, for missing what I am sure was an awesome production.
But I'm not sorry I got sleep .
Lots and Lots of sleep , actually :-)
Seems like my days always start out with the best laid plans and the best of intentions, and then most of the time , they end up in the crapper. Its amazing to me , the diffrence between your head, and reality.
In my head, for instance, yesterday was going to be choc full of fun , and warm fuzzy memory making. Alas, not so much . . .
I have heard it said many a time that , " The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
I have no idea who said it, but i'm pretty sure that whoever it was had kids.
I am equally sure that if there is any truth to it ( and i'm sure there is) , by now I haven't just paved a road.
Oh no ! I have paved the freaking Highway to Hell with all of my good intentions.
not just some cute little winding , one-lane , country road. A super-mega highway with 8 lanes and no stop signs so you can cruise straight through ! Do not pass go ! Do not collect $200, go straight to hell, no if's , and's, or but's.
I wonder if there's a way to charge a toll on it ? Make my Highway to Hell the Turnpike to hell ? At least that way I could make some money on that sucker . . . Hmmmmmmm?
( ok, i'll admit it, as I am writing this, I am singing AC/DC's " Highway to hell" in my head, and i just want you to know that " Turnpike to Hell " works just as well, just a little FYI . . .)
Hopefully , tomorrow will be better.
it's gotta be right ?
I mean Sweet Baby Jesus , the Lord won't give us more than one of these days in a row right ?
Pray.
( Your still singing "Turnpike to Hell " aren't you ? )
(your Welcome :-)
Our household pretty well represents every season of life. In some ways that is a blessing, and most days it is. but then there are those other days . . .
Last week , munchkin attended "Princess Dance Camp" the recital for which was to be held at 10:00am Saturday Morning ( Yesterday). I truly bless the teacher , because it was held that early for the sole purpose of accomodating our insane schedule. Speaking of insane schedules, here's a peek at how yesterday was suppossed to go;
8:00 am - out of bed .
9:00 am - crap together and breakfast eaten, ready to get on the road.
10:00 am- Dance camp recital
11:00 am - leave "Mayberry" and drive to "The City" for a friends daughters pool party that you swore on everything so hard you might as well have taken a blood oath not to miss it for anything except death.
11:45am- Drop hubby who has zero tolerance for the heat of Okie summers at his favorite bookshop to kill time until the party etc ends.
12:00-3:00 pm -Pool Party with 5 year old and friends.
3:30 pm- collect husband from bookshop and load his purchases into vehicle, hope theres still room for munchkin to sit.
4:00 pm - stop by Buffy's Shop and collcet the keys to your shed she accidentally absconded with the last time she was over. Change munchkin, change yourself , attempt to do something to your hair that the heat and humidity hasn't already.
5-6:30 pm - leisurely dinner at some random location that you didn't have to cook.
7:00 pm- Arrive at Civic Center Music Hall and attempt to procure parking close enough that your spouse dosen't have a stroke trying to get into the building and your offspring dosen't have the opportunity to run amok or into traffic between your parking spot and the front door.
8:00 pm- Curtain for "Disney's Tarzan : The Musical"
10-10:30 pm- leave theatre and head home with your happy family in tow.
11-11:30 pm - arrive home , tuck everyone in, let critters out for a bit. Load the dishwasher, blog, critters in, bed.
It's a nice story, isn't it ? Everything working out the way you planned ? Now for what really happened . . .
Overslept.
Somehow managed to pack all the necessary clothing and sunscreen etc for the many events of the day , dance bag and so on ,my own change of clothes for later.
Got my goat rodeo into the car with the dogs only managing ONE escape out the front door ( believe it or not this IS actually less than usual)
Decided to make up for the time we overslept by grabbing a quick breakfast at the local Carl's Jr, only to end up waiting forever for what was hands down the most disgusting biscuits and gravy any of us have ever tried to stomach ( we have eaten there before, and it was good then, so I guess they were having an off day. But it was seriously gross) so now we are still hungry, but out of time .
The goat rodeo is still hungry and therefore cranky, particulairly with each other which in turn makes me cranky too. so far so good.
Still Running late, we arrive at the studio to find that thanks to the pioneering efforts of one Mothers overkill ( apparently in her family a 45 minute program merits the attendance of five generations of family , grandparents etc) there was ZERO large vehicle hubby-accessable parking . So I had to drop hubby at the nearest semi-accessable place and hope he made it in ok while munchkin and I foraged for parking elsewhere.
We ended up parking at the camera shop down the street and walking.
Did i mention that by this point , we were already on munchkins 4th hissy fit of the day ?
yeah.
So this was more of a march to the studio , where in my giant lard-ass was heaving after her wheezing out things like ,
"if you don't slow down , so help me God I will bust your ass ! "
"I mean it little girl !"
"Stop Running dammit ! We're not THAT late ! "
Finally, she stops. She turns around and gives me a look that could kill satan himself. She puts her hand on her hip , cocks her head "WHAT ?" ( words cannot describe how badly i wanted to knock her out at that moment, but i managed to keep my hands to myself)
Q: I am your mother, you are 5. I make the rules, you follow them. You step out of line, you get punished. Period. That's how it works. We do NOT have to take you to do things like dance, and parties, and theatre, THOSE ARE PRIVLIDGES ! and if you don't watch your mouth and straighten up , you will lose them.
M: (rolling her eyes sarcastically) you'd have to catch me first.
Here is where she takes off like greased lightening and hot foots it into the studio.
To save time , I will just say that she does everything her teacher asks her too, no problem. But everything from changing her clothes on is a three mile uphill battle for me.
As we are making the trek back to our parking spot in outer Mongolia , she continues to show her royal ass. By the time we arrive at the van , we are all yelling at each other and I am ready to scream / cry. It's only 11 am , for God's sake ! The day isn't even halfway over yet. I want to go home and hide in my closet and cry.
And then I see it. On the window of my van. Right there on my window. A note , scrawled with permenant marker, " THIS IS NOT A PARKING PLACE" Great. Good for you bucky. Thanks for the tip, cause this is exactly where i wanted to park in the first place. I wanted to make a sign on the back of it and tape it to his door that said " YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER" , sucks for him too, because I am a picture and Photo JUNKY !
Goat rodeo in the van, willing myself to save my energy and NOT be perturbed at camera shop asshat anymore, munchkin is furiously kicking the hell out of the back of my seat and screaming while hubby is trying to calm her down and i am trying to get BOTH of their attention and call this blasted van to order.
"QUIET ! " I yell. Attention garnered .
Q : All right ( munckins first, middle, and last name , so she KNOWS she's in trouble ) the day isn't even halfway over and we are here at this point already. Now I know you want to go to this pool party, and you know what, I WANT you to go to this pool party because I promised her Momma. But if this is how your gonna act, and you gonna be all ugly and stuff , i'm not gonna take you. I have no problem driving up ther , dropping off this gift, and just telling her momma that you weren't behaving well enough to deserve a trip to the pool. do you understand me ?
M: Yes Mama.
The trip to the city involved a whole lot of singing aloud to the Dixie Chicks ( Munchkin caught a liking for them from me and is currently driving them into the ground. Better than Bieber etc ) and everyone was in pretty good spirits by the time we reached the bookshop. When we dropped Hubby off , Munchkin even crawled up from the back seat to give him a hug and a kiss ! ( now there's my sweet girl ! ) We hit the Mickey D's for a dollar burger and then off ! too the pool !
Munchkin was amazed at the pool, it was more of a mini- water-park . ( the mayberry pool is very basic and spartan ) Having never been to a water-park or anything of the kind, this was amazing to her and she became like, spastically excited.
Things went pretty smoothly and we both had a great time, at least until the first time I tried to get her to leave . She turned around and marched defiantly into the pool , knowing I was fully dressed and couldn't go into the water per the pool rules.
30 minutes later, i tried to get her to at least come get another coat of sunscreen , she then tried to doggie-paddle herself into the deep end to escape before she even heard what I wanted. Once she understood what I wanted she got out , got sprayed, and then ran back in. 30 minutes later, it really was time to go. I gave her 5 minutes , and started the countdown. 3 minutes, 2 , "Ok honey , tell everybody bye-bye, we have to go now" She got out of the pool. Yea ! Victory for Mommy ! Then she jumped back in. this happened four more times. Once she finally got out for good , there was the search for her shoes, that took forever. She tried to get back in the pool three times during "the search", finally I had her rounded up and said my goodbyes to Birthday girls Mommy.
The ride from the pool to the bookshop seemed eternal. The noise from the backseat was deafening. I couldn't hear myself think. About 2 miles from the bookshop I decided there was no way I was taking this urchin inside ANY place of business. So I called the Bookshop, and ask them to please page my husband and have him meet me out front. Hubby emerged , confused, but compliant a few moments after I pulled up at the curb. He knew with a look that the rest of the day was shot and we were going home to Mayberry.
After we arrived, we ate a quick dinner of "Cowboy food " ( Kraft Mac-N-Cheese, Bushes baked beans, chili ,cut up hot-dogs , and onions) with a side of fried spam and chips and dip, which used up pretty much all of the leftovers. and by 6:30 pm we were all exhausted. By 7, we were in bed and asleep.
That's why I am just now managing to write this.
I would like to apologize to the folks at Lyric Theatre Of Oklahoma, for missing what I am sure was an awesome production.
But I'm not sorry I got sleep .
Lots and Lots of sleep , actually :-)
Seems like my days always start out with the best laid plans and the best of intentions, and then most of the time , they end up in the crapper. Its amazing to me , the diffrence between your head, and reality.
In my head, for instance, yesterday was going to be choc full of fun , and warm fuzzy memory making. Alas, not so much . . .
I have heard it said many a time that , " The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
I have no idea who said it, but i'm pretty sure that whoever it was had kids.
I am equally sure that if there is any truth to it ( and i'm sure there is) , by now I haven't just paved a road.
Oh no ! I have paved the freaking Highway to Hell with all of my good intentions.
not just some cute little winding , one-lane , country road. A super-mega highway with 8 lanes and no stop signs so you can cruise straight through ! Do not pass go ! Do not collect $200, go straight to hell, no if's , and's, or but's.
I wonder if there's a way to charge a toll on it ? Make my Highway to Hell the Turnpike to hell ? At least that way I could make some money on that sucker . . . Hmmmmmmm?
( ok, i'll admit it, as I am writing this, I am singing AC/DC's " Highway to hell" in my head, and i just want you to know that " Turnpike to Hell " works just as well, just a little FYI . . .)
Hopefully , tomorrow will be better.
it's gotta be right ?
I mean Sweet Baby Jesus , the Lord won't give us more than one of these days in a row right ?
Pray.
( Your still singing "Turnpike to Hell " aren't you ? )
(your Welcome :-)
Friday, June 28, 2013
Excuses ?
Earlier tonight , I realized just how many lame-ass excuses I have been using to keep myself from starting this stupid blog.
For Instance;
"it would be stupid to start it when we are moving, that would be too hectic"
( Um, DER ! , just make fun of it and use it as blog-fodder. so NOT a good excuse)
"Well, I promise, just as soon as my office is set up and functional, i'll get right on that ! "
( like i really need a clean office to think and opine? PLEASE ! Most of the places I have lived over the years could have probably been on hoarders ( ok, maybe not that bad, but still bad.) since when am i just so damn uppity that i need a clean office for this , huh ? WTF Quiser ? )
HERE'S MY FAVORITE :-)
" Just as soon as I manage to get enough of the housework and unpacking done that I don't feel guilty, i'm gonna do it ! "
And here's where I call "Bullshit" , on myself.
Screw the damn housework ( well, within reason)
Quiser, you are the procrastinator from Hell.
As long as your sorry badonkadonk can think of some lame reason not to start, you never will.
( that was sort of a pep-talk i had with myself in my head)
So, anyways . . .
I have a confession.
Right now, there is just enough room in my office for me to sit at my desk and breathe. That is it. It is so cluttered in here that if I farted, the room itself would have to kick me out for the sake of space.
Right now , there are still big-ass boxes partially blocking the way to my bathroom.
Right now , i still have dirty laundry from here to high heaven !
Right now , the living room, dining room and library are so full of boxes and crap its like walking through a maze ! ( we have been here 21 days now)
And right now I could jolly-well care less !
Fry the boxes ! I'm starting something dammit ! I am delving into uncharted territory! And you know what ? I think I friggin' like it .
In fact , I think I may just like it a lot . . .
For Instance;
"it would be stupid to start it when we are moving, that would be too hectic"
( Um, DER ! , just make fun of it and use it as blog-fodder. so NOT a good excuse)
"Well, I promise, just as soon as my office is set up and functional, i'll get right on that ! "
( like i really need a clean office to think and opine? PLEASE ! Most of the places I have lived over the years could have probably been on hoarders ( ok, maybe not that bad, but still bad.) since when am i just so damn uppity that i need a clean office for this , huh ? WTF Quiser ? )
HERE'S MY FAVORITE :-)
" Just as soon as I manage to get enough of the housework and unpacking done that I don't feel guilty, i'm gonna do it ! "
And here's where I call "Bullshit" , on myself.
Screw the damn housework ( well, within reason)
Quiser, you are the procrastinator from Hell.
As long as your sorry badonkadonk can think of some lame reason not to start, you never will.
( that was sort of a pep-talk i had with myself in my head)
So, anyways . . .
I have a confession.
Right now, there is just enough room in my office for me to sit at my desk and breathe. That is it. It is so cluttered in here that if I farted, the room itself would have to kick me out for the sake of space.
Right now , there are still big-ass boxes partially blocking the way to my bathroom.
Right now , i still have dirty laundry from here to high heaven !
Right now , the living room, dining room and library are so full of boxes and crap its like walking through a maze ! ( we have been here 21 days now)
And right now I could jolly-well care less !
Fry the boxes ! I'm starting something dammit ! I am delving into uncharted territory! And you know what ? I think I friggin' like it .
In fact , I think I may just like it a lot . . .
and so , it begins . . .
Holy Crap and wowzers !
After 4 years of everyone harassing me to start a blog, plus a couple of phone convos with my Mumsie and favorite Auntie, I am actually friggin' doing this shit !
Well how bout' that ?
this is a strange journey indeed for someone who is only just barely computer literate,but it feels excellent taking the plunge !
I suppose it is probably customary that I share a bit about myself , just so you know what kind of southern-fried crackpot loony you are subjecting yourself to.
I am a 32 year old "old lady" , Okie, born and bred . My Mum is Catholic and Dad's in the running for the worst and least observant Jew in the history of all Judaism. Yes , my childhood was interesting. I consider myself a "Hin-Jew-Palian" ( i'm not sure if i coined that myself or not, but feel free to use it either way ,and just in case you need a definition , if you put Hindu, Jewish, and Episcopalian in a blender,you get Hin-Jew-Palain :-) Yes I believe in Jesus, but I also think there is a LOT to be learned from keeping an open mind, and there is beauty and wisdom in all forms of praise and worship.
I am the mother of one exceptionally spirited five year old girl , and the wife of an exceptional disabled retiree. We Just bought our dream cottage in an idyllic small town here in Oklahoma and are still in the throes of settling in and unpacking . That is all you get about me for now. I will warn you though, there are secrets, and there are many. Some of the subjects that will be discussed here may be shocking to you, but i believe in maintaining an open and honest discourse . I have a profound dislike of gratuitous language, therefore i will not use "curse words" except for the sake of humor, or to prove a point.
To quote Steven Tyler , " Life's a Journey, not a destination."
So lets get this blasted thing on the road now shall we ?
After 4 years of everyone harassing me to start a blog, plus a couple of phone convos with my Mumsie and favorite Auntie, I am actually friggin' doing this shit !
Well how bout' that ?
this is a strange journey indeed for someone who is only just barely computer literate,but it feels excellent taking the plunge !
I suppose it is probably customary that I share a bit about myself , just so you know what kind of southern-fried crackpot loony you are subjecting yourself to.
I am a 32 year old "old lady" , Okie, born and bred . My Mum is Catholic and Dad's in the running for the worst and least observant Jew in the history of all Judaism. Yes , my childhood was interesting. I consider myself a "Hin-Jew-Palian" ( i'm not sure if i coined that myself or not, but feel free to use it either way ,and just in case you need a definition , if you put Hindu, Jewish, and Episcopalian in a blender,you get Hin-Jew-Palain :-) Yes I believe in Jesus, but I also think there is a LOT to be learned from keeping an open mind, and there is beauty and wisdom in all forms of praise and worship.
I am the mother of one exceptionally spirited five year old girl , and the wife of an exceptional disabled retiree. We Just bought our dream cottage in an idyllic small town here in Oklahoma and are still in the throes of settling in and unpacking . That is all you get about me for now. I will warn you though, there are secrets, and there are many. Some of the subjects that will be discussed here may be shocking to you, but i believe in maintaining an open and honest discourse . I have a profound dislike of gratuitous language, therefore i will not use "curse words" except for the sake of humor, or to prove a point.
To quote Steven Tyler , " Life's a Journey, not a destination."
So lets get this blasted thing on the road now shall we ?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)