Karma . It isn't always instant.

Sometimes , your best laid plans, your most honorable intentions , can become the biggest source of your torture . The unfortunate side effect of a goal taking forever to be achieved is that by the time you have actually achieved it , you have had far too many opportunities to sit around planning it out , right down to the smallest detail . The problem with this is , that more often than not , Murphy's Law comes into play , and well , just what exactly do you do then ? How do you respond ? You aren't God, you do not control the universe , generally you can't even control what goes on under your own roof . What happens when the life you planned veers terribly off course ?

Just a quick clarification . . .

Recently , it has come to my attention that many of my readers are unsure as to how to pronounce the name of my piddly little blog. I have no idea why ( perhaps because i'm an overbearing control freak) but that bugs me a little , ( okay, a lot ) So here's a little mini-blog-backstory/clarification for you wonderful three people who actually read this shit. ( God Bless you :-)

Happy Mom-Versary to me ! :-)

In just a short 26 days or so, my dear Little Chrissy will be six, and for some reason this birthday is eating my lunch like no other birthday before it .  Not in a pissed-off kind of way , but in that 'crying at every Hallmark commercial ' sort of way .
You see, this is the first ' Big Girl' birthday . She is starting to want more time with her friends and acting more like a 'big kid' every day. She is growing up, right before my eyes, literally in a flash it seems. And amid the chaos and special hell that is party planning , somewhere between the balloons and cake and the face-painter/juggler/ whatever the hell , there is another milestone to be celebrated . For while it is the anniversary of HER birth , it is also the anniversary of the day I became a MOM.
For me Motherhood has been a lot like the Lord of the Rings. It began as a simple trip to Mordor ( i.e, just get knocked up , it can't be that hard, right ?) And then it turned into the ACTUAL trip to Mordor. In other words, you can't drop the damn ring into the fiery-ass volcano of Mt. Doom until you have survived RingWraiths , Orcs, Uruk-Hai , A Kraken, a Balrog ,there have been several casualties, and you have  been stalked by some creepy precious-obsessed little dude in a glorified diaper (ok, my ex-husband wasn't quite that bad, but you get the picture , right ?) Not so simple.

There really isn't a title for this so just go with it . . .

I would like , if I may , to take you an a strange journey.

No, not the band Journey, though I love them , and they are great ( and I promise I haven't stopped believing :-)

A different journey , of a more personal nature . A journey of self discovery, if you will.


You see, so much has happened in my circle of friends lately involving gays, and gaynesss, it has gotten me thinking about things I haven't thought about in a very, very long time . As I believe most of you know , I am a Pansexual. It took me years to realize this , but not because I just woke up one morning and said , " Hey , I think i'll be Pansexual today" , it started out a long time ago, and I realize now that I was always Pan, I just didn't have a word for it . Having a word for it dosen't GIVE you an identity suddenly, it just makes it a little easier to figure out where you fit in the great chain of being , and to root out your identity .

A Piece of my Heart

I'm going to start out by saying that even if my hands weren't shaking, even if I could keep a dry eye , and even if I weren't in the process of going through a box of kleenex , there is no way what I am about to write would EVER be good enough.

Today started out innocently enough , same old routine stuff. And then something in my facebook feed caught my eye. There was a name I recognized , in the worst imaginable context.

You see, today is the national Transgender day of remembrance . Today we honor our Transgender brothers and sisters who have been lost to violence, inadequate healthcare, or suicide.

Little pitchers have big ears . . .

It isn't really news to any of us that children have selective hearing , whatever you DON'T  want them to hear , they will not only hear , but memorize verbatim immediately after you say it . Whereas , if you are needing them to listen , it goes in one ear and out the other . It seems to just be the way it is with them , but a LOT of parents, moms especially , can sometimes end up saying a whole lot more than they realize ( myself included) and sometimes the damaging effects can last for the rest of your life.
Now let me ask you Mom's , how many times have you said something like this to your daughter/son ?

I'm goin' all Oprah Winfrey on this shit ! ( you have been warned )

In the grand tradition of women who have any influence at all in the media ( even if its just this shitty little excuse for a blog ) I am going to take a minute to take a pinch of Fraulien Maria and a dash Of lady O , and talk about my favorite things .
I will be honest, I just came from a wedding that could be blog fodder for years in and of itself , My friend was on tv today , I burned myself with a glue gun , and I managed to offend the hell out of one of my childhood preachers TWICE today.
There is PLENTY  of other shit I could blog about , and I will .
But right now, I want to talk about THIS.
Oprah's favorite things are generally interesting, Maria's are very musical , and well, I don't know ANYBODY who honestly gives a shit about Kathie Lee's favorite things ( furthermore why Hoda hasn't shot her yet, I will never know ), but my favorite things are special because they are mine ! ( lol !) and because you can't but them in any store, and I am not being paid by some billionare to endorse them to make him more money.


To Quote Fraulien Maria, " These are a few of my favorite things . . ."