Everyone's a little Belle Watling . . .

In the South, or at least the part I grew up in There was a sort of self-imposed caste system amongst the women. As far as the general population was concerned , there were only two kinds of women on the planet. Melanie Hamilton , and Belle Watling . For as far back as I can remember , Though I always looked up to Melanie Hamilton , I , was a Belle Watling.

There were all sorts of "reasons" , I was either "too Jewey" for the Christian kids, "too Christian" for the Jewish kids, "too Poor" for the rich kids, "too smart" for the dumb kids , and "too open-minded" for the conservative kids. It seemed the Lord had just intended for me to be a conspicuous person, designed to stick out. ( though i'm sure the hearing aide and speech troubles I had early on didn't exactly help ) At some point, I think it was highs school , i eventually became comfortable with my " Belle Watling " status , after a while it was expected and funny , i even learned to use it to my advantage in some instances. After a lifetime being Belle, I had become quite comfortable in my parlor over the brothel with my very select group of trusted friends , I had no thoughts of ever wanting more, and  things just rolled off my back like water off a duck. I was invincible.

Then a few years ago , about three to be exact, I unwittingly topped myself , and thus got the chance to live out Miss Belle in living , lurid color.

There's a scene in " Gone with the Wind"  , where Belle Watling drives up outside the confederate hospital in Atlanta and tries to donate some money to "the cause" . Mrs. Mead and Mrs . Merryweather refuse her donation because they don't want "her " money, no matter how badly they might need it.

But Melanie Hamilton agree's to speak with her , and takes her money too. And here's where you learn the lesson, that Despite of her work and lifestyle , Belle is actually a pretty good person, with a pretty big heart, that is , when the Meades and Merryweather's of the world don't get in her way.

Fast forward 100 and some-odd years , and I am at our former parish speaking to a deacon, inquiring after anything they might need help with . He directs me to the head of the Altar Guild, who then informs me , " Thank you for your interest, but we really have quite enough volunteers for the time being ".
The deacon then redirects me to the Kitchen Mistress, who says " We actually have more volunteers than we can schedule already ".
The food basket program : same.
Sunday school teachers: same.
Greeters: same.

I felt like Forrest Gump , his first time on the bus when every seat was "taken"

Our dear Deaconess NB , was the closest thing I found to a " Jenny".

She kept encouraging me to try another position, or ask so and so , but every time I was back to being Belle Watling , outside the Confederate hospital and all them good christian ladies were just too good to accept anything from the likes of me.

In the months that have followed this I have seen and heard A LOT . My eyes have been opened wider than ever before. For instance , I now know that the Meades and the Merryweathers have plenty of skeletons in their closets , and plenty of shadows in their family tree , and are usually just very little people who's only means of feeling significant , is by making someone else feel insignificant. I have also discovered that every Meade and Merryweather , secretly wished they were a little Belle, and every Belle secretly wishes she was a little more like Melanie Hamilton.

That said , something AMAZING  happened today !  I got a call from the co-ordinator of our NEW parishes soup kitchen / free lunch program , and they would be happy to have us ! We start tomorrow morning !  And further more , they would love to have me on the Altar guild ,or wherever else I am willing !

It looks like I finally found my Melanie Hamilton in Mayberry , who knew ?


In the meantime , I would like to encourage you all , to nurture your own inner Belle Watling, because in truth , EVERYONE's a little Belle Watling sometimes, and then  ROCK THAT SHIT OUT GIRLFRIENDS !

Because you can dammit, that's why.

:-)


Dedicated to the lady who has been my constant Melanie Hamilton for as long as I can remember, always seeing the best in my , even through ten tons of make-up and five layers of 'whorehouse-fringe' , you know who you are :-) Much love !