I'm all " ears"

Some of you may remember that some weeks ago , Bubba and I made a backyard vegetable garden only to discover there was no spigot with which to water the darn thing ! Well , I'm pleased to report that after careful deliberation over wether to install a spigot in the back yard , or just buy a longer hose , we elected to buy a MUCH longer hose. ( damn plumber wouldn't call me back )

It was hotter than the blue blazes of you-know-where when we got that darn thing home , and Bubba's "babies" were just about to give up the fight !

I waited until dusk to water for two reasons. The obvious , so the sun wouldn't evaporate the water or further scorch the plants. And because I was hoping against hope , that munchkin would fall asleep in time for me to water alone .

GUESS WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN ?

You guessed it . Someone wasn't feeling a damn bit sleepy , even after their melatonin . As I looked out the window and saw daylight passing me by I realized Elvis was right, it's now or never. So I suited up in my garden gear and hauled my buns outside to install the new hose.  A 150 ft whopper !  With the cutest AND most aggravating ( but well intentioned ) little helper on the planet. Once I had freed it from its plastic torture chamber , I attached the hose securely to the spigot by the front porch and turned it on and just began walking towards the backyard. Munchkin was enthralled ( she had been promised first turn with the spray nozzle) and skipping along beside me , I was feeling confident and in control and then . KINK ! Suddenly the hose stopped, WAY short of the gate . I looked behind me and saw a tangled mass of hose less than 3ft from the front yard spigot. Dammit ! I began walking back towards the spigot ( marching back , more like ) determined to sort his whole thing out . Did you know that it is damn near impossible to untangle a 150ft Waterhose while it is still turned on ? (Well I didn't so stop laughing dammit ! ) ( if you are one of 'God's special people' like myself and would have dne this too, bless your heart ! And learn from my example cause I had to learn it the hard way ! )  All in all it took us over an HOUR AND A HALF ! To water a damn 8x10 vegetable garden and a few friggin rosebushes ! ( and the herb garden , and oh ! Those damn canna's we brought from the old house . Oh and the morning glories. Oh shit . . .) anyway, the addition of munchkin plus a 150ft hose that was determined not to work with me made for more than an hour of God-awful horrid gardening ! We may have argued the whole damn time about who got to hold the darn sprayer , but eventually we did manage to get everything watered and fertilized and get inside .

Once we got inside we had a few minutes to revel in our job well done before we both realized we were covered from head to toe in bug bites !  They were EVERYWHERE ! You see in our frenzy to water the garden we forgot to put on bug spray , even though I. Have cans of the crap deposited at strategic locations throughout the house AND garden hoping to prevent this , we are covered in freaking bites , and the damn " deep woods off " remains unused .

Here's where munchkin and I both clean up and get Jammied and spend the next half hour or ore slathering each other with Benadryl cream. ( insert Dean Martin's , " Memories are made of this " here) . Seeing as how munchkin is a wiz with a whopper , I can only imagine the stories that were told the next day at daycare as she showed off her  " battle scars " . The next days were punctuated by repeats of the same events , only with the " deep woods " ON  for once , and thankfully though the child was no less agitating , the sun at least made the sun more pliable so I didn't have to feel like I had just escaped the ring with Mahommad Ali after watering . Watering is finally starting to feel like watering . At last .

You may wonder what I have to show for all of this laborious effort . Well let me tell you ;
2 bell pepper plants in dire need of life support.
3 eggplants that are sitting in the corner of the garden with a mug in their fronds begging for sustinence.
1 strawberry that has done exactly squat since I got it.
4 okra plants that have apparently gone into the witness protection program .
33 tomatoes rifled little tomato plants.

But you know what ?  I have corn !