The great cat baptizing of 1986' or 7 ?

So tonight , as on so many nights , I got to Indulge in a multitude of randome housewife tasks, though tonight things did get shaken up a bit. You see, in addition to the munchkin , we also have four little fur babies, there Is Miss Dog ( of the small and yippie variety , more than a little overweight but pretty darned easy going ) , then there is mister dog , ( extremely yappy and incredibly neurotic , probably somewhere right now neurotically licking the remaining fur off his poor balls ) , then there is miss cat , who is just shy of the most anti-social vile creature god ever blew breath into ( she is probably lurking suspiciously under some furniture about now.) and last but not least , there is mister cat , who spends most of his time in the masters lap , soaking up all the affection, and has no doubts at all that he indeed rules the roost . I may have mentioned before that we just moved here a month ago, well , at the old house we had the yard treated for fleas etc , so I got very spoiled to not having to really worry about that. Here, not so much , and not long after starting to let the critters outside again,  we noticed they had started to scratch , and lo indeed they had acquired some fleas. So tonight was flea bath and flea collar night ! Yea ! Woo-hoo ! It stayed pretty uneventful while I did the dogs, and mister cat took it like a champ , but when I got miss cat in the tub all hell broke loose . By the time I hurriedly finished her up  and carried my kitty-cat burrito into the living room, I was pretty beat.  Once she was Dried off and acting semi-nice I stopped to review my battle wounds.  Only 16 scratches and punctures. Not too bad . I can remember another time when I didn't get off so lightly. . .

It was the summer of 1986' or 1987 ( since I discovered pot in 1996 it had been a little harder to remember exact dates , even after quitting in 2004) , at any rate I was approximately 6 or so ( just a hair older than munchkin is now ) and my little sister bat-shit was around 17 months younger ( to save time and make things easier , we will just call her B.S. for the rest of the story ) . Back then we lived in the small town of Wilbur , Oklahoma , population, about 1,000 on a good day. Despite its small population , Wilbur, inexplicably , had about 10 churches. And the only thing to do in Wilbur during the summer , was go to vacation bible school " VBS" . All the churches worked together to make sure they had theirs on different weeks , and if an enterprising parent played their cards right , they could be rid of their children free of charge for 10 weeks out of the summer !  Since mom worked , B.S and I spent all of our summers being shuttled from one VBS to another , along with all the other kids who had driven their parents crazy . We got to make a lot of coasters and wind chimes , and learn a LOT about the Bible. The week we were with the Methodists , B.S and I learned about baptism , and how if you don't get baptized you go to hell. Well we didn't want to go to hell, but lucky for us at our home congregation ( which was at that time Pentecostal ) they were having a big ole baptizing that Sunday in one of the congregants swimming pools ! Well sign us up ! We were rooting , tooting, and ready to go ! We were first in line ! We were both so proud when we got dunked ! Not going to hell feels good ! ( bear in mind this is from the prospective of a child who thought communion was just snack time in the middle of services )  so , on the long ride back to the boonies from the baptizing, still soaking wet, B.S and I had a revelation.  Sure we weren't going to hell now, but what about our animals ? We couldn't let them go to hell ! Something had to be done about this ! They had to be saved !

Well, we had a big ole pond at the back of our property , so the sight was obvious , the rest was a little more difficult . You see . Our Mama had a heart the size of Texas , and she didn't know how to say no , or how to turn away any creature in need . The people of greater Landon county figured this out and the next thing you know everybody in a 50 mile radius started bringing every stray they found  over to her . Now , there is some dispute over exactly how many there were. Hector swears it was 49, Mama says 29 , and I remember somewhere near 34 . At any rate , we had a HELL of a lot of cats ! There was also a lot of dogs, and chickens and such as well. Mama made us change our clothes before we headed to the pond ( church dresses are alright for chlorine pool water, but not allowed in Oklahoma red mud ! Remember that ! ) the dogs were easy. We took turns dunking them under the water and saying " I baptize you in the name of the father, the son and the Holy Spirit !" , dogs down , we decided we would just throw buckets if pond water on the chickens , so they were over rather quickly . Then it was time for the cats . We were determined that every last one of them was going to get dunked if it killed us ! We did not want to go to heaven without our cats !  One by one we caught all 30-something cats , and trotted them down the hill to the pond walked out into the water , and pronounced them baptized ! It was grueling work, it took hours , but as I said , we were determined to succeed . By the end of the day , we were COVERED in cat scratches ! We had them everywhere ! More than enough that we had to eventually quit counting ! But we had the satisfaction of a job well done , and were we're very proud of ourselves . I can only imagine what went through Mama's head that night when we came in for d inner ! Saving souls is hard work !

That's why tonight , when my hubby asked me if I made it out of the bathroom in one piece , I said " it couldn't hold a candle to the great cat baptism of 86 ! " and he just giggled , because he knows he married a nut job, so nothing I say EVER surprises him . I love that man :-)