As both a woman, and a Mother of a 5 year old girl , Princesses have been a large part of my life. Far larger than I ever really intended. Princesses of the Disney variety I mean ( Cause who could get enough of a great humanitarian like Diana ? I mean really ? ) Growing up ( and I will just tell you now that I was an odd and OVERLY-thoughtful child to say the least) it did not go unnoticed by me , that the real princesses just seemed to be made of better stuff than the ones produced by Disney , not just the princesses , but women in general were just better stock than Disney gave them credit for . Here we had Diana on telly , not afraid to endure the wrath of her Mother-in-law to get down and dirty helping others , be it starving children in Africa or what have you . While I feel I should mention that my favorite Disney movie from childhood was"Oliver and Company" , and Ironically I had already read the classic Dickens novel it was based on prior to having seen it . I had princesses hurled at me from it seemed, EVERY angle imaginable. Our parents even characterized B.S. and I as "Snow white " and "Cinderella" , because I had black hair and she was blonde. Honestly , I was happier being a Ninja Turtle or a Thundercat . They had more fun and got to DO things.
You see, even then , I noticed that the alleged heroines Disney was cranking out seemed to all be in need of saving , and incapable of either making their own decisions, or making decisions that didn't suck and lead them to certain peril. I mean, Snow White eats the blasted apple AFTER the dwarves have already warned her ( because of course thinking of this herself was not an option), Sleeping Beauty dis-obeyed EVERYTHING she was told ( at least in this instance the people doing the telling were women ) and naturally the ONLY thing that will save her is , surprise A MAN. ( and here is where they lost their woman advisor 'brownie points' ) Cinderella , well at least we have moved on from "Some day my prince will come " ,but her be-all, end-all is still the stupid prince, and she still requires rescuing , albeit from mice , but they are still male mice. Poor Cindy never thought to make a bed sheet rope and climb out of that damn tower herself ( even though it is seemingly appropriate for other characters in other films ), no she just sits there crying and waiting to be rescued .
At last , in the 90's, something interesting started to happen at Disney headquarters. Who knows whether they just got one too many angry letters from feminist Mom's or what, but there was a small change in the tides. After they offered up "The Little Mermaid ", wherein Ariel gets in hock to a sea witch and makes some pretty dang severe and drastic changes to herself ( i'd say growing some legs , losing your voice and a major change of address would constitute drastic ) just to win the heart of , you guessed it A MAN . As usual , she strove towards no higher purpose. Just get a man and disobey all of her controlling father figures (even if one is a crab ). There was a glimmer of hope In princess Jasmine, who didn't want to get married , and half-heartedly tried to be independent. She of course also gave in and hooked up before the end of the damn film , and all that high-faloutin' malarkey she had been spouting went out the bloody window. Never mind the way she gets objectified through the entire film.
Then there was Belle . At last ! An educated woman who would rather read a book than marry the town stud and bear legions of ungrateful children. I could almost get behind this girl ! She's smart , and she's not shallow ( she falls in love with a beast for craps-sake ),but still , they just couldn't resist making sure that happily ever after involved another friggin' Prince, and another friggin' wedding , could they ? Pocahontas was a little better , shirking her arranged marriage to go white water rafting in her canoe and spend some time communing with nature , I can dig it. Seeking counsel from the wise old tree lady , again , groovy . But then there's that whole Mel Gibson thing ( and believe me , my distaste for him is a whole 'nother blog entirely ) but to their credit , at least they shot him ( he didn't die, but they shot him )and there was no talk of marriage . But our heroine is left noticeably un-fulfilled in the end and pining away on her cliff for of all things, A MAN . I will never understand why she couldn't just shrug her shoulders and be like , " well that was a learning experience " , and then just ride off into the sunset in her big-girl panties by her damn self. Would that have been so terrible ?
Esmeralda was a nice improvement , as she kicks ass and takes names on more than one occasion , and fiercely asserts her independence . This is good, but she still gets objectified by THREE men ( hunchback with a heart of gold, arrogant blonde who thinks he's gods gift, and creepy , creepy ,CREEPY Judge Frollo who just gives you the willies) To her credit , there is no marriage at the end , or even a definitive relationship. But she still requires a little too much saving . Then we have Mulan. Mulan , when it came out was the first time I ever left the theatre thinking , " well done Disney" , My only complaint is that they didn't just end the damn movie with her Saving all of China , and being honored by the Emperor . Nope, instead they had to deliver a friggin' man to her door. Yippee. Eventually we made our way to Princess Tiana, and by this point I was Taking my own munchkin to the movies . I felt it was very positive that instead of just sitting on her kiester and waiting for her dreams to come true , Tiana was willing to work , several jobs if need be to get what she wanted , and her focus was on her career , relationships ? Please ! Ain't nobody got time for that ! I enjoyed the message of the song, "dig a little deeper ", Mama Odie had a good point , and remains one of my all time favorite Disney Characters. Sadly though, this offering still ends in a wedding that turns this ordinary girl, into a princess. A little while later, they offered up "Tangled", and I enjoyed the tree climbing , hair swinging, barefoot, cast iron skillet wielding Rapunzel . That being said, for all their efforts at making it something else, it remained , the quintessential princess locked in a tower and in dire need of rescue from a man.
Last year , I finally got the pleasure of presenting my daughter with the Disney Princess i had waited 31 years for , and her name , is Merida. Merida looks like a normal girl, not all chiseled with a teeny-tiny waist , she chews with her mouth open, she belches, she has a sloppy rats nest for hair , and she leaves her weapons on the dinner table. You know what else ? She can out-shoot any man alive with her Bow , and can climb the friggin' fire-falls IN A DRESS ! She can hunt and catch her own food, and survive in the wilderness. Her whole trouble starts when she puts all the boys to shame by out-shooting them because she doesn't want to get married dammit ! By the end , not only has she saved herself, she has saved her whole damn family ! Even better , there is NO wedding, there is NO man . There is just her riding off into the sunset on her horse with her bow free to be her , and to find her own way , in her own time . It is beautiful. I damn near skipped out of the theatre after that one. I even drug Wednesday to see it TWICE !
Thank you Disney ! For finally serving up a Princess I could stand behind ! And thank you Diana, because when Wednesday told me "there aren't any real princesses" , I was able to tell her , " oh yes there are " , and use your bravery and humanitarian efforts to illustrate for her that true princesses are far more than just a title .
Here's hoping that this page that has been turned , this new chapter being written , will someday help parents raise a generation of strong , independent women .
And just for the record, sometimes your Prince charming is actually a Princess.
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