Time to eat crow ( otherwise entitled , " well don't I just feel like an ass now ")

A while back , Just before I started this whole blogging business, some of you may recall my mentioning some rather specific issues with our Vet on Facebook. For those who don't , let me give you the Cliff's Notes version.

I went to drop off Mrs. Dog for her appointment with the groomer but the clinic was closed ( i later discovered that they open later on fridays, but nobody told me , so I showed up wen the card said to, at 7:30 am. They opened at 9) I sent the Doc an E-mail about it, she apologized, no harm no foul. I e-mailed about re-scheduling, and I never heard back . A few weeks later , I did get an e-mail, but it was to remind me that the cats were due for their shots, still nothing about the dog.  It was about this time that Miss Cat decided to go get stuck under the house an hour before their appointment , so I had to call and cancel. When I called to re-schedule the kitties shots, I decided that waiting almost a month to ask about Mrs. Dog's groom wasn't un-reasonable , I had been patient , so i asked.



Well the receptionist bit my head off a little , and told me that she had already rescheduled it three times and I was a no show all three times. She also told me that furthermore, I had been horrifically rude and vulgar to her during those phone calls . I told her I had no idea what she was talking about, which was the truth . I didn't. I ask if it weren't possible that it was someone else , she insisted it was me and became rather heated when I said there was no way . Ultimately we rescheduled the kitties shots ( not without some more discussion of the alleged phone calls of course) .

After I got off the phone , I went straight to checking to see if any evidence existed to support the receptionists claims. She said she left SEVERAL voicemails , so i checked the caller ID on the home phone as well as the cell, nothing. Ok, that's weird. If she had called me , it should be on the caller ID , right ? Then I listened to every voice mail on my cell, again, nothing from her or the Vet. Next stop . E-mail, I spent the next three hours combing through my E-mail for any reminders or notifications from them, again, I came up with nothing. This struck me as odd , because every other time I had ever scheduled  anything with them , I always got a confirmation E-mail, and a reminder E-mail, I even get an E-mail reminding me when to give everybody their heart worm pill, they are really pretty dared organized like that . So how did I go  through three appointments with no e-mail ? It occurred to me then to check and see what number they had and were using , so I called back, several times. I did not get an answer, and i began to suspect that the receptionist was probably screening her calls. Honestly , if I thought someone was a big of an asshole as she did/does me, I probably would screen mine too, so I really can't say that I blame her .

Nevertheless, it bothered me . A lot. That was not and is not who I am. People who know me In real life will tell you , you can call me at three O'Clock in the morning and wake me out of a dead sleep, and i will still answer ,and you will get an "oh hi sweetie what do you need ?" Not a "why the fuck are you calling so late !".   I am just not the type to do that , I can't even hang up on a telemarketer because I stupidly worry about hurting their feelings. Cussing out my Vets receptionist is just not my style. Six years ago, when I was still drinking , if someone would have told me i acted that way to them , I would have apologized to them profusely and accepted full blame, knowing that they had just had the mis-fortune of calling me while I was drunk and I had been a total ass. I would never have questioned the validity of their statement. Now, after 6 years of hard fought sobriety , working my 12 step, making amends for everything , I have become fiercely protective of my integrity , because sometimes that is all you have , and if you don't maintain your integrity , then your word means exactly squat. It was a blow below the belt for me to have just moved here , and already be garnering a reputation as a crazy bitch in such a small town. I had no Idea what to do , or how to handle this.

After I took to facebook / called my Mom for advice etc , basically everybody said to just go get another Vet , that this was too big of a crap pile to sort through , and it would just be easier to move on. I understood why they suggested it. But it didn't change the fact that Bill had known the Vet for around 30 years , practically since she was in diapers, and I adored the hell out of the Vet , and the Groomer . Besides , if there's one thing AA, Al Anon , and Celebrate Recovery all teach you , it's how to sort through a crap pile and salvage your life/integrity/friendships and trust. Even Bill was willing to find another Vet in the area , but when I sat down and really though about it , and asked myself if these people were important enough to me for me to try and sort this out, the answer was yes. So I decided to keep the appointment for the Kitties shots, and just try to have a talk with the Vet and explain that I don't know what happened , but I am sorry for what the receptionist went through , and i would like to start over with a clean slate and try again, if that would be alright with them.

We arrived at our appointment , just barely on time ( the Dogs got out when we were trying to load the cats) ( I HATE being late, i'm a little OCD about punctuality) but we got there . It was clear immediately that I was the elephant in the room , you could cut the tension in the air with a knife I tell you . Everyone was looking at me like i was about to go postal at any given second. The Vet who had never had a problem seeing us alone before , suddenly needed three assistants in the room to help give two shots and a flea treatment . They were scared of me ? Now, I know that there are folks in the world who enjoy being feared, but I am not one of them. I am more of a huggy teddy bear sort .This did not feel good. This felt like I was being covered in heavy cold tar.  I wanted so bad to talk to her for just a minute, to try and explain. But everyone was rushing around so much that they were starting to make me dizzy . There was no way I was going to be able to speak and be heard in these circumstances. The receptionist was at least willing to schedule a groom for Mrs.Dog who by this time was long overdue and miserably shaggy, but i left feeling deflated , and unsure what to try next .

I thought about a writing a letter, but would she even read it if it was from me ?  Then I thought about sending flowers , but I could imagine them being angrily shoved down the garbage disposal at the sight of my name on the card. Maybe a tray of homemade baked goods ? Would they eat them ? Or would they just assume that the "Crazy Lady " put ex-lax or marijuana in them ? ( for the record , I have no Idea how to even procure Marijuana) I thought about bringing a basket full of lotions up there , but figured that would be seen as more of a shamless plug for my business than an apology. I was out of ideas.

Now, bear with me for a minute. We are going to go back in time for just a bit. To the week before last Christmas , when my cell phone croaked , and I had to replace it( did I mention it was the week before Christmas ?) I left with the only phone they had in stock. It was a piece of crap from the start, but still better than nothing . It was an annoyance I had to put up with until I had enough credit with my provider to get the damned iphone I really wanted. I really hated that phone. Last week, after the darned thing had been completley dead for better than two weeks, I finally broke down and just got the damned Iphone anyway. And when I did , something amazing happened , it started to get flooded with voicemails and text messages that had apparently been undeliverable on the old HTC . Lo and behold , there was a voicemail from the aforementioned receptionist, only one, but it is probable that not all of them transferred from that piece of garbage . So now we had evidence. We also knew that I had missed out on a crap TON of voicemails , from a little bit of everybody.

We also discovered , that that wasn't the only thing wrong with that hunk of junk. Oh NO ! Turns out it had some pretty major reception issues as well. In addition, the caller ID on the bugger wasn't registering numbers from my phone book as recognized. They were all showing up as just a number or unknown. This is where I had the epiphany ( insert the Pee-Wee Herman " Connect the dots " song here ) . Back in May, ( around the time my phone stopped receiving text messages or allowing me to send them ) I started receiving phone calls with nothing but static, or breathing noises on the other end from numbers I didn't recognize ( which is basically everybody, since the phone book feature was fried and I haven't got anyone's number other than my Mother's memorized) I honestly believed that someone was crank-calling me , I couldn't imagine who, but that seemed to be the most logical explanation.

At first , I thought it was just my hearing impairment , speaking over the phone is difficult for me on the best of days. But it happened with such regularity ? Once i had ascertained that it was NOT my horrid ears , I started answering these phone calls with "Hello? Hello ? Helloooooooo? Is there anybody there ? Ok ? If you aren't going to talk, i'm going to hang up now, bye bye ". As this became more of an annoyance , I started singing a Little Pink Floyd when I answered these calls , just to amuse myself , " Hello, Helloooo, Hellooooooo. Is there anybody in here ? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone . . . ." After a few more weeks of this Pink Floyd was no longer so amusing, and I was really getting tired of this crap. I couldn't figure out who it was doing it, but it was really starting to piss me off. (it didn't help that i was in the throes of moving with a 5 year old with ADHD , a disabled husband , and 4 critters at the time . Let's just say my stress level was a little high) I was frazzled. I began answering them a little less pleasantly .Until eventually it became " Damn you to hell whoever you are and stop Fucking calling me ! I am fed up with this shit ! Is this a person or another one of those damned automated machines ? " and so on. During all this time , it never occurred to me that the person on the other side of this convo was NOT some asshole trying to get my goat.

Apparently on at least two occasions it was friends who knew me well enough to know that I couldn't hear them and didn't know who it was or I wouldn't be speaking that way. It has also been made apparent to me that it has been my dentist office at least once, and one of Bill's doctors as well, and therefore most likely , the receptionist at my Vets office . She was right, it was me. I just didn't know it was . I have apologized to everyone else I accidentally cussed out , and explained how a trip to the Apple store revealed my naughtiness to me . Save the lone receptionist . The only person who had the lady-balls to call me on this outright , and I couldn't even give her the satisfaction of admitting my guilt . It is to her that I owe a tremendous apology. This blog entry is the start. I will be spending some time deciding how best to make it up to her .

In the meantime, learn from my mistake , if you don't know who is on the other end of the line for sure , watch what you say. Even if your pissed as hell and think it's the biggest ass-hat in the universe, it could actually be a sweet little blonde wide-eyed twenty-something receptionist who hasn't had the world ruined for her yet. Don't let that ruination start with you .

Thanks for reading :-)


P.S. I'm pretty sure it will be a long time before I stop feeling like an ass over this .